Forgive me, this post is SAD!

sad face copy

How best to explain my feelings this week? It’s not easy and I feel the president-elect has hijacked the word “sad” as in, “Sad!” But there it is, succinctly. I’m down in the dumps. I’m weepy. The girls and I and the husband were supposed to be on a plane right now, headed to the inauguration. We had planned to take a family trip to celebrate the first female president and the great country in which we live. Instead, I’m dealing with daughters who are also sad and angry and confused. They … [Read more...]

My silver linings playbook

C'mon, It's just a drawing.

Five minutes ago, I wrote about Goldie—off to high school. This fall, she’s applying to college and will be out of the house next August. Picture me now, lying on my stomach, pounding my fists and feet into the carpet. It appears I’m exercising; I’m actually falling apart. Too much? Over the top? Maybe. But understand I’ve struggled to define life’s purpose, as I know many of us do and have, and motherhood provided answers—immediate, well-defined, profound. Yes, Goldie will still need me from … [Read more...]

Monday motherhood: the light, the bushel

My view from lunch yesterday, just because.

I have little interest in explaining my continued absences from Daily Cup of Jo because I’ve too often told you I’m back, and then just as quickly gone away again. That’s unreliable, and immature. Except today, it’s Monday Motherhood and the two issues are related. So forgive me and...hello again. I’ve feigned maturity over the years. It’s been useful, especially when I’ve desired treatment as an adult. But inside, I’ve known the truth – that I’m mostly faking this grown-up thing because I … [Read more...]

Wednesday words on parenting: psychobabble and raising the perfect child

Mother Teresa

When the girls were younger and another mother would say, either to them or to her own child, “Use your inside voice please”, it had the same effect on me as hearing nails on a chalkboard.  I’d cringe, often visibly.  To a lesser degree, I’d shiver after hearing: It’s a teachable moment. Boundaries. In a restaurant, turning to a 3-year-old: What would you like to order? How did it make you feel after Susie took your toy/poked you in the eye/spat in your food? Gifted, as in, My … [Read more...]

Lovely December: sobriety, family, Christmas

My greatest gifts.

To me, December is profound. On the tenth of this month back in 1996, we found out my father was riddled with cancer; he was gone ten weeks later. Last year, on the 9th, our mom died. But in December 1991, before either of my parents passed away, I stopped drinking…and goodness came after, even in grief. Not the least of my blessings was the husband, who understood me early on and asked me to marry him anyway. What followed were three daughters, who greatly reduced my egocentric tendencies … [Read more...]

Monday motherhood: a year later

mom at easter

Yup, a year.  My mom died last December 9th and so it feels like a day of reflection.  Too bad we don’t have anything formal like the Jews: Yahrzeit is a memorial anniversary of death. On this day there should be no rejoicing, no eating of meat or drinking alcohol. There is a custom of kindling a yahrzeit candle at dark on the evening before the anniversary of death. The flame and wick symbolize the soul and body of the deceased. One also recites the Mourner's Kaddish on this day. Or the … [Read more...]