Wednesdays with Wendy: Haiti and gay marriage

It was dark and rainy when I woke this morning to meet up with Wendy for our run.  I cursed her name when the alarm went off, had some coffee, laced up the Asics and drove to her house.  I would’ve run there but, were you not listening? It was dark and rainy.  We talked about our dogs because we always do.  There was chat about TBI Marco because there always is.  He’s amazing.  And then there was this:

Let me just say, yesterday I wrote of flashlights and earthquakes hours before a massive quake hit Haiti Tuesday afternoon.  And while I’m sure flashlights and batteries might be useful to Haitians right now, so too would be clean water, equipment to move large pieces of debris and a government, infrastructure and societal conditions to lift it out of the ugly distinction of being the poorest country in the Western hemisphere.  The per capita income in Haiti hovers at less than $400 per year.  And now this? Check out Unicef’s site to donate to their relief fund, or simply go to Google’s “How can I help Haiti?” page.

Prepare for segue.  All things being relative, still, is it really that big of a deal for Jim and Robert to get married after being together for over twenty years?  I could write a whole book on how I feel about the subject of gay marriage but really?  I wouldn’t read it.  I don’t have the time and I don’t care because I have secret information that I’m willing to share in a paragraph.  Ready?

Gay people are not evil.  Nor are they all, by definition of the word “gay”, happy and carefree.  They most definitely are, however, individuals – with bills to pay, jobs to find, children to raise, pants to put on one leg at a time, and hopes of falling in love.  They do not want to “convert” our children to their gay way of life.  They will tell you that no one converted them.  Come to Los Angeles.  Visit San Francisco.  Spend a week in New York.  Bask in our gayness.  At the end of the day, you and yours will be no different.  Homosexuality is not H1N1.  It is not contagious.  Jim and Robert want to get married because it may afford them a place in society less difficult than the one they are in currently.  Geez Louise, can’t we allow that and use all the money left to be spent on this issue for something better, like feeding the hungry, nursing the sick, lowering college tuition costs at Cal State Universities so that we might educate a scientist who may one day find a cure for cancer?  For chrissakes, Catholic Portugal just made gay marriage legal, becoming the sixth country in Europe to do so.

I have an answer for every argument I’ve ever heard against gay marriage but while we were running, Wendy was not arguing with me.  I’m not even sure she was listening.  The light was green and she was busy making sure the car turning the corner didn’t plow us down and kill us.  She was focusing on our lives, in that moment.  Aaah, but if more of us could do the same.

Tomorrow: the cookie recipe

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  1. Mare says

    Wow…I didn’t read the post about flashlights until this morning, so I just assumed it was based on the Haiti earthquake. Gives me the chills…again!
    And I agree with Mike. Very well put, Jo!
    (…and besides, don’t any of those close-minded people want to see Brad & Angelina get married? Well,sorry folks, they won’t until it’s legal for everyone!!! Geez people!)

  2. Paul says

    Hello from a new fan in Phoenix! I’m a friend of Wendy and TBI Marco…next time you see him, ask him about the Phoenix gays, then brace yourself for the onslaught.

    Loved this post – thank you for the perfect, simple clarity of your message. Seems like every time I hear some wingnut ranting about gay marriage, I’m loading or unloading the dishwasher, putting a load of laundry in or putting clean laundry away (sometimes), trying to make sure the kid doesn’t do an impromptu art project on his bedroom wall with a crayon, hoping the dogs don’t knock anything over as they race through the house, trying to keep the chaos to a minimum so that the partner can focus on finishing up with one more work issue in his home office, worrying about the fact that we don’t spend enough time together as a family, trying to convince myself that an apple would be a better choice than a couple of cookies, trying to figure out when I’m going to get my car serviced, hoping my dad’s doctor’s appointment goes well, wondering if the red light on my blackberry is a message from my boss (yet again)… and then I hear somebody trying to make the case that I’m so different (and not in a good way) that I deserve less than anyone else? Really?

    Hope to meet you sometime when we visit W & M – in the meantime, thanks for the fantastic writing!

    • says

      Paul, thanks for the support and for your comment. Your life sounds just like mine and I’m heterosexual. Go figure. I can NEVER get the laundry done all the way, in time for everyone’s needs. And apples vs. cookies? Exactly. I bet the Haitians would love to have our problems, and our arguments. Wendy speaks of you guys all the time. We’ll meet next time you’re in town.

  3. Mark says

    You know I’m one of your biggest fans, but your recent post on gay marriage just made me love you all the more. Keep the coffee coming.

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